A Man's Guide to Dating Women in Their 50s: What's Going Wrong?

KELLY (00:02) So men are from Mars. Women Natalie Pilkinton (00:03) What KELLY (00:03) are from Venus. I think we all know the story. You've heard plenty of stories from the Venus perspective tonight on Sugar Spice and Spirits. You're gonna get to hear the Mars perspective because we have this one brave soul, my best friend Al, since fourth or fifth grade, has so eloquently agreed to join us on the podcast to give his perspective on dating in your fifties. KELLY (00:29) So, but before we get started, we want to say thank you for to Troy and Sabrina for letting us go live from Hooks on the Brazos here in Freeport They have so graciously given us the opportunity to have a fantastic drink. So our sip of the day is a little spicy, which is what we hope this this episode of the podcast is gonna be. It is a tidebreaker. Tidebreaker. It's a tidebreaker, which is essentially like a spicy margarita. So my friend Al does not drink, he's never touched this stuff, which is KELLY (00:56) One of his problems, but it's okay. but we want to say cheers and certainly a great thank you for agreeing to come onto this because he has wanted to see the questions that we're gonna ask him all afternoon. Yeah, nope, he didn't get it, so he's a little nervous. So we're going to do a cheers to our sip of the day. Cheers and cheers to Al Cheers to Al and a big thank you to have to Al and Hooks and everyone. So KELLY (01:19) And shout out to Courtney. She has been rocking and rolling all day with our drinks. Courtney's been an amazing bartendris. Bartendris. So Did you just make a w a word? I did. Bartendris. Do women do that, Al? Do we just make stuff up? Al Gonzalez (01:33) Yes, yeah, I do. KELLY (01:35) Okay, well there went my first big good question, but okay, so But truth. Al Gonzalez (01:39) But it's KELLY (01:39) Really? Al Gonzalez (01:40) Yeah. KELLY (01:42) Okay, so we make stuff up. Do we make stuff up in in your opinion just to accommodate the situation? Or Al Gonzalez (01:49) Or KELLY (01:52) She's going deep Natalie Pilkinton (01:54) Yeah she is. KELLY (01:55) off the bat. You're not being judged. What's your answer? Ma'am. Ma'am. Al Gonzalez (02:01) Y'all don't sugarcoat anything. KELLY (02:05) But at in at the end of things do you think that's better? So Al Gonzalez (02:08) It is better. KELLY (02:09) b let's face it, when it we n like I said, we've known each other since fourth grade and we've all been single and married before and everything. And when we were younger It's a long time since I was single. Well it it has been. It has been. But when you were Natalie Pilkinton (02:24) We are so proud of you for that. Really. KELLY (02:26) Yes, twenty four. Almost twenty five. Awesome. So congratulations. Congratulations. Great. I've cheers two. I'm going on two years and Miss Natalie just got the big ring. So congratulations to her. So she's taking the plunge again. So but you know, rem remember, used to if you liked someone KELLY (02:46) you would kinda hang out in the hall at school and wait they pass by or you'd see them in the courtyard at school and hopefully you can s you know spark up a conversation. But it it's a little different now. A lot of it's a lot of it's online. Or also a lot older. You can't hang out in school. That would be weird. Well yeah if you hang out and if you hang out in school you get arrested and whatever. So Natalie Pilkinton (03:06) That's fine. I have my limitations. KELLY (03:09) Anyway, so it it it has changed a lot from when from when we were younger and and we're ten years old nine or ten years older than y'all, so it so it is a little bit different. But I just I I know having recently been in the dating scene, Natalie even though Natalie's recently engaged, she's been with her fiance for seven years. Mindy's been married for twenty-four, almost twenty-five years. After after I lost my late husband, I was in the dating scene for five years. I know you've been in the dating scene. KELLY (03:36) And pardon my language, but it's just a shit show. I mean I mean it is. It it's not fun to date at our age. And I know from a woman's perspective perspective what we look for in in the dating scene and what is it and I know you can't speak for most for all men, but you can speak for some I'm sure. What are the challenges that you've seen now? You own your own business, so you work a lot. Too much. Al Gonzalez (03:59) Too much. KELLY (04:02) Do you think that has maybe hindered your ability to maybe establish a a a good relationship? Yes. 110%. Al Gonzalez (04:11) A hundred and ten percent it happened. KELLY (04:14) Do you regret that? Sometimes. Al Gonzalez (04:16) I do and I don't. KELLY (04:17) Okay. Al Gonzalez (04:19) Because at this point I should be starting to settle down and getting close to retiring. KELLY (04:25) Right. Al Gonzalez (04:26) Me, I still want and want and want and want. And women don't understand that part. Because I am a workaholic. And KELLY (04:36) Yeah. I'm married to one of Al Gonzalez (04:37) I have a problem. It's it's an issue. KELLY (04:39) Yeah. Natalie Pilkinton (04:40) Let's turn into an intervention real quick because that's what's going on here. Because I'm here for it. No. KELLY (04:44) No, I wonder because you do work so much, Al, and you're very successful and it's a passion of yours just in the conversations that we've had. I'm curious if as you have gotten older and you do appreciate what you do so much and the people that you employ and your clients, when you think about dating and knowing that you are going to work so much, as you've gotten older, has your expectation for a relationship or what you're looking for, has that changed or at all? Natalie Pilkinton (05:13) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (05:14) My expectations have not changed because I have high standards and I think that's a problem. I'm not willing to settle for less than what I want. KELLY (05:23) And you shouldn't. Al Gonzalez (05:24) But I should be willing to give and to compromise with another with my partner. KELLY (05:33) But Yeah. Al Gonzalez (05:34) But it's hard to find that someone in my business at this time because women my opinion love spending a lot of time together with their mate which that's how it's supposed to be But right now I don't have that time to give KELLY (05:51) Mm-hmm. So when you say high standard or expectation, do you mind sharing what is that that you feel like is what is it that you're looking for that is harder because of the work? Natalie Pilkinton (06:03) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (06:05) A woman to understand my business. Natalie Pilkinton (06:08) What is your business? Al Gonzalez (06:09) I'm in the landscape business. Natalie Pilkinton (06:10) Okay. KELLY (06:12) He he lives in Memphis, or right outside of Memphis. Yes. And just Natalie Pilkinton (06:16) There's a song about that. Right? Outside of Memphis, like in the The Country song. I'm gonna find KELLY (06:21) Pamtilis. Pamtilis. Yeah, Natalie Pilkinton (06:23) Yeah. KELLY (06:24) right? Yep. Clearly I don't st single Natalie Pilkinton (06:28) It's Natalie Pilkinton (06:29) a good thing she's a KELLY (06:30) She's KELLY (06:30) a leadership coach and not a not a music coach because so so along those lines what what matters at at at this point in in your life or or a man's life at this point is it is it chemistry? Is it companionship? Is it Mindy Price (06:48) Peace. KELLY (06:50) P-E-A-C-E? Sorry. Natalie Pilkinton (06:53) I thought this is gonna be a fun episode, so KELLY (06:55) Do KELLY (06:57) not judge. Natalie Pilkinton (06:58) No, judge, judge. I'm not saying that's not in force. KELLY (07:02) Anyway. Natalie Pilkinton (07:02) No. sweet baby jesus KELLY (07:06) Compatibility, KELLY (07:06) you know, because like like you said, so I I recently got married almost two years ago, and my husband currently works out of town, and the other day Mindy said, I know that you're lonely. I'm like, girl, I'm not lonely. But the reason why is because I've learned how not to be lonely because I'm I surround myself with friends and I keep myself busy. But that took you a long time. It did take me a long time. This is a new one. It did take me a long time. But we have a yeah, Natalie Pilkinton (07:30) Brings Allen to town. KELLY (07:31) yeah. Al Gonzalez (07:33) Hey. Natalie Pilkinton (07:33) He comes in town like KELLY (07:34) Like, KELLY (07:35) hey babe, what's up? So but but seriously, y you you say you have standards and and there's things that you you won't compromise and there's things that you will compromise. So what what are you I know you're looking for someone that could that can understand your business and your work ethic, which is very very good, but where do you find that balance? Because I think there's a lot of men out there like you who it it's it's tough to find that balance. And and whether or not KELLY (08:01) Some of you may not want that balance. I love my job and Al Gonzalez (08:06) So to be honest with you, I don't know where that balance is because I'm not willing to give up. Natalie Pilkinton (08:14) You haven't met the right person. KELLY (08:16) Yes. Maybe that's it. Natalie Pilkinton (08:18) Because when the right person comes in, all of a sudden it's not a chore to hire somebody to replace you or to do things because you wanna be with that person. You wanna be with them and experience life. Like KELLY (08:30) 'Cause KELLY (08:30) you you have an amazing crew that you that works for you. Yes. And that you can very much delegate. So if you decided, hey, I mean, 'cause you're here, you're you're in Texas right now, and you've been on the phone several times with your crew in Memphis and you're directing them. So you very well could be like on a cruise with your woman and so you have the ability, but like Natalie's, I think that's a very valid point. Maybe you haven't found that person that you feel like KELLY (08:57) you want to step back from work a little bit to get you away from it to where you can have that relationship. Al Gonzalez (09:03) That is the hard part though, trying to find someone that understands because I've met people, but Natalie Pilkinton (09:09) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (09:11) they're not willing to say, you know what, I know we made these plans on Saturday, but I know it's rained Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and I have two hundred and thirty eight properties that I maintain in two weeks to tell her, Hey, you know what, I'm sorry, babe, but I'm not gonna be able to go with you Saturday and Sunday. KELLY (09:30) Here's the vi gift card to Tiffany. She just go buy you it I'm just kidding. my gosh. I do have a serious question. And this just popped into my mind. I don't know if you've thought about it or if you would be for it, but KELLY (09:41) What if you did meet somebody who has a business mind that respects what you do? And then you find out, when we talk work, this makes sense. And then you're able to bring that person along with you. Would you ever accept somebody? I'm not saying as a partner or to take over your business, but at where it's like there is a piece, if you if you want to be a part of this, we will spend more time together if you're in the business and you're helping me work the business and we KELLY (10:11) can do these things. Some people, Al, are not meant to work together at all. No. But I wonder if this age that you are now and if you did want to find somebody, would you be open to that if it was the right person, the right mind, the right connection, and then you are able to be together more. I don't Al Gonzalez (10:32) Yes, I would be. Because I do have a good crew. And part of that as Kelly was saying Al Gonzalez (10:39) I hate saying this, I do have good employees, but I have to stay on the phone with them. As Kelly said, since 6 30 this morning, I was getting phone calls. You KELLY (10:49) Mm-hmm. Al Gonzalez (10:51) have the list. I gave you the list. Take care of the properties. But it's call after call after call. Natalie Pilkinton (10:58) Mm-hmm. Al Gonzalez (11:01) So I don't Al Gonzalez (11:02) have that other owl with my crew to say, take care of this. I'm going out of town. I'm going on vacation. Leave me alone. KELLY (11:13) I I think it's interesting to see and that tells a little bit about your character where you would say if if that did work, if there was the right person and they came along this journey and the business was able to be successful and even more successful and they are interested in it and that allowed us to spend more time together, you're open to that. Because there are some men and women who would say, Absolutely not, I would never mix my business with this. It just seems like, and I just wanted to put that out there, that because of how demanding. KELLY (11:42) your company is and successful and you don't want to give that up, it's nice that you're open to that if it were the right person. There could be the best woman in the world that comes along and she's like, nope, no interest in that. We'll find her. Yeah. Natalie Pilkinton (11:58) We are taking applications at sugarspiceandspirit.com. I'm sure that you spill the tea. Go there, put in your resume, and we will help select. Al Gonzalez (12:05) 901949. KELLY (12:08) Ha ha Natalie Pilkinton (12:10) No, but it is so the time it takes. Like I remember when I was dating, I being an entrepreneur myself and having that that spirit that when you sit down with somebody, very quickly, like what are your hobbies? What are you doing? you're playing video games, you're doing this, you're doing that, you're drinking every weekend, like what? Like I I act like I'm an alcoholic sometimes just because I enjoy a beverage, you know, on the show and then with my meetup, I do it at the Mexican restaurant because I love a good margarita. But that Natalie Pilkinton (12:38) Is a good margarita. It's not like a good picture of margaritas. It's but when you so when you're dating and you're going through and you're talking to people, very quickly it's like you categori in my head I have a Rolodex like or like a little file system, like and I put you in that spot very quickly. Like it's like, no, never again, like, mmm, yeah, no. And so Natalie Pilkinton (12:59) As an entrepreneur, you just learn very quickly not to waste time. So you don't always get the right impression or the first impression may not be the best. And sometimes because we're we're not putting up with KELLY (13:10) Yes. Yeah. Natalie Pilkinton (13:12) that we will very quickly just like categorize someone else like, nope, that's not gonna work. B so we don't really find the time to get in to know somebody in that situation. Al Gonzalez (13:22) It's hard at our age. People don't want to spend time, don't want to invest time to try to meet that special someone. If KELLY (13:29) And yeah, I think the Al Gonzalez (13:30) it doesn't happen right away, they're quick just to go left or right. KELLY (13:34) Yeah. Well and and I I think there's there's two or three different type of types of people also is that when when you suddenly enter the dating game later in life, whether it's your forties or fifties or whatever, you you meet some people who have also been in the dating game for a while and they they've got that ability to look and balance and figure out what they want and they're very th they have I don't want to say criteria, but they just have certain things that they're looking for. But then you've got then you've got those KELLY (14:02) that all of a sudden are brand new to dating and they get out there and they're with someone who's been dating and that person is like ready to you know let's let's let's walk down the down the aisle right now yeah yeah and you're like wait wait wait so it's hard to find that person who's been you know in your shoes for a while so I think there's those who are number one they're afraid that i i i if I like this person what happens if if Mr. Wonderful KELLY (14:29) Is really one swipe away around the corner. Do I do I settle? And then you got one that says maybe they don't check all the boxes, but I'm so scared that someone else is not gonna come along, so they jump into it. And that that's the hard part is knowing if someone's going into a relationship for really the true right reasons. Is it because they're scared someone's not gonna come along or they're scared that KELLY (14:52) what happens if Mr. Wright does come on and then they lose the best relationship. Like, don't look at me. I don't I know Natalie Pilkinton (14:58) Amazing, like I'm saying out of No, I know. We still love you. We appreciate you. I wanted to be where you were, trust me. Like I appreciate that. So twenty so with you, like what are your hard stops? Because I think that's really a a big thing. Like, no smokers, no this, no that, can't be a cat person, whatever it is, like what are your hard stops and then how do you navigate those waters? Do you have what are your is there like a long list? Okay. Al Gonzalez (15:24) I won't date a smoker because Al Gonzalez (15:26) I'm allergic to smoke. Natalie Pilkinton (15:27) Okay. Al Gonzalez (15:30) If they vape, I don't know because I haven't dated anyone that vapes. But smoking is a no. Natalie Pilkinton (15:35) Okay. KELLY (15:36) Same for me. Yeah, same for me. Mine was like, nope, I d I don't want to be around someone that smokes. Al Gonzalez (15:40) Drinking Al Gonzalez (15:40) don't bother me. Going to clubs don't bother me. I don't care to go to clubs personally. Not that I don't like the crowds because I love people. I'm a people person. I just don't like the club atmosphere. Natalie Pilkinton (15:52) Mm-hmm. KELLY (15:53) So Natalie Pilkinton (15:54) So basically no smoker. E every other lady out there that's, you know, looking you can still apply. How do you mean KELLY (16:00) What KELLY (16:01) a are are you trying or how do you meet or how do you Al Gonzalez (16:03) I'm Al Gonzalez (16:03) not even trying. No. I work so much. I work so much. I just invest my time in my work 'cause I know in the past Natalie Pilkinton (16:11) Ooh, we could do like a speed dating event where we have like Yeah. Just saying. We'd have to go to Memphis though 'cause we can't find them someone. KELLY (16:19) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (16:20) Well all my friends want me to move back to Texas and so does my family. The only thing KELLY (16:25) All of my family is here. I don't know how the hell Al Gonzalez (16:27) that keeps me in Memphis is my business. Natalie Pilkinton (16:29) So your business is a blessing and a curse. Yeah. Al Gonzalez (16:34) Both. Al Gonzalez (16:35) If I could find like I said earlier, another Al to run my business. Natalie Pilkinton (16:39) I know Natalie Pilkinton (16:39) a business coach that's really good that could probably help you with that situation. KELLY (16:46) Well I'll refer him to. So when you know when you talk when you talk about compromise, he he did some time ago have have someone that he was in a relationship with and she was getting close to retirement and so she had the ability ability to move to Memphis for for however long, and then when he decides to move on and retire, he could move back here. But she wasn't willing to make that step. He wasn't willing to not to end his business and come here because I trust me, I try to say Mindy Price (17:13) Just, I'll see. KELLY (17:14) someone to run that business KELLY (17:16) and come over here and start your business here and of course for me it was it was not like a relationship but it their relations, I'm a good friend of hers, they are still great friends, mm-hmm but it was just one of those things that they were not willing to to compromise and you know sometimes you sit back and you wonder, well what if? What if Natalie Pilkinton (17:36) I don't know, do we wonder what it is? Al Gonzalez (17:39) No. Natalie Pilkinton (17:39) And KELLY (17:40) It is what it is. I mean and and that's Al Gonzalez (17:41) At Al Gonzalez (17:41) this point, no, after being in it and ending things, it's it's if she wasn't willing to compromise that, which for me was a simple thing, or you know what, come up here for a couple of months, or come up here for a few months and see if you like it. And if you don't then we can move you back home. You don't have to move here permanently right now, but why don't you try it? Natalie Pilkinton (18:06) Try it for a season. KELLY (18:07) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (18:07) Yes. KELLY (18:09) Yeah. And sometimes that's hard. KELLY (18:10) I can understand that. Sometimes it's very difficult to want to uproot something for a trial period. So I get that. But you know, and to to get away from from from from that KELLY (18:24) Now that you're not in that and you're moving forward, I think one of the one of the things that I was the most disappointed in when when I had to go back into the dating scene was you you think because we're older that the dating scene that people you're gonna be dating are more mature, my God, they're just as stupid as we were in high school. They ghost you. They Natalie Pilkinton (18:43) Their baggage is heavier. KELLY (18:45) it's just you you think, okay, I've learned so much, so let me show you KELLY (18:49) My God, it is not it is not for the for the week. It dating Natalie Pilkinton (18:54) Is Natalie Pilkinton (18:54) the beauty is you see the flags right away. Like usually you're tr like by this point in life, like we're like nine, nope, nope, nope. So it's it's a lot easier. Where Brian got me when we were dating is I said no alcoholics, been there done that. And then when I first like we were chatting on Bumble. I don't know if they if I don't even know if that's still around anymore. KELLY (19:17) It it is. Okay. we were KELLY (19:18) almost Natalie Pilkinton (19:19) We were chatting on Bumble and then he we were texting and I'm like waiting for him to ask me out and he never did so I was like okay and then I ran into him because I like to dance so we're at the dance hall and he walks by and I was like hey you're Brian He goes Yeah I'm Brian I was like okay I was like yeah we're we're chatting on Bumble He comes back and he's like yeah we're chatting on Bumble I'm like no shit Sherlock So then Natalie Pilkinton (19:41) I was like not impressed because he's like three sheets to the wind. It's the end of the night. I want to dance. My all my guy friends are like three sheets to the wind, holding up the bar, like and I'm like, I just want to go around one more time. So KELLY (19:51) Yeah. Natalie Pilkinton (19:52) And there he is standing up straight, like nothing's wrong. And I'm like, d do I try and dance. Like I I just want to dance. That's it. So it was one dance. Like, let's go around the dance floor, let's cut it up. So we go around the dance floor and when we're done, I he's like, it feels good to be touched. Like just to himself. Natalie Pilkinton (20:08) But it was one of those, you know, a very intimate statement for a Natalie Pilkinton (20:12) but Natalie Pilkinton (20:13) for him like it's a very personal, like it's a very it is, it's like KELLY (20:17) N KELLY (20:17) and now you know him, you know the type of person and character that he is. So you can look back and say that mental yeah. Natalie Pilkinton (20:23) Like Natalie Pilkinton (20:23) I was like weirdo drunk, weirdo, like what? So, but then I ran into him the next night at another event. And then I ran into him again another, and then I'm like, I don't know him. Like I I had a hard time filing him in my little file cabinet, like reject, move like whatever. So I think that sometimes that misread too, like cause he's going through his phase and his stuff from coming out of his long marriage and then me coming out of my long marriage, it's like you just never know when you're meeting somebody, like whether they're fresh. Natalie Pilkinton (20:52) Right out because it does make a difference if you're in the dating scene. If you're only dating for like three months af after your divorce, like you're still fresh, you're in your ho phase Like it's a whole different blogging. So come I was in the singles group that I can tell you about. Like it was Dustin, you ran a good group. But it was you're in your hoe phase And then after that year it gets a little more serious. So you want to find people that are more serious. So Yeah. Anyway. KELLY (21:20) But KELLY (21:21) you know Natalie Pilkinton (21:21) He's like, where are those first years? Just kidding. Mindy Price (21:24) But Mindy Price (21:24) you know- KELLY (21:24) The KELLY (21:24) the it the sad thing is that you're you're right. You don't you go into something you don't know what people are wanting. I mean you don't know are you just looking for a hookup or are you looking for a long a long-term relationship? Do you just want a plus one to go on trips with you? And sometimes it's it's hard to to find that person who you want to be on the same page with because everyone wants something different. So I mean i you know you're the nice thing is I think when we're dating and we're 25. KELLY (21:52) We get married, we have kids, we live happily ever after, we build you know lives and relationships and grandkids and retirement and blah blah blah. And all of a sudden you look up in your fifth and you're like, Well that crap didn't work out, so now you know, so I mean I mean before I you know before I met Trevor, you know, I was I was married to Lance, it was wonderful, he was great, and then passed away and for five years I, you know, dated around and I was dating someone that KELLY (22:18) I realized and all my friends realized it was just not gonna work out. So I was ready to write it off. I you know, me and Susie were sitting there one day and I said, Okay, we're gonna do one last search and then we're done. And there popped up Trevor and the rest is history, but it's like at some point it's just it's exhausting. Natalie Pilkinton (22:36) I think when you start dating though, and I think that's part of the process that so many people want to step into a relationship and they want to have it perfect. And they don't want to put in the time and they don't want to put in the effort to get to know somebody and to help sculpt sculpt them and help make them a better person while you're being made a better person. And I think that that's everybody wants it right now, that instantaneous like, we need to boom, we need to have chemistry and it needs to work. And it doesn't always work that way. You've got to pour into somebody else, and it's that compromise, it's that Natalie Pilkinton (23:05) Give and go. Yeah, KELLY (23:06) Yeah. Natalie Pilkinton (23:08) the red flags, like there's those maj major red flags that you gotta watch out for. But if you're not moving in succinct to make something better and make someone else better and it's all about you, then it's it's it's not gonna work. But Natalie Pilkinton (23:21) I think that's where people lose themselves. They lose the ability to have a long lasting passionate love with somebody that's more than just a chemistry thing that's that's deep rooted. And I I think cause we're always growing and we're always and if you're not growing and building and making yourself better, then you better step up because you're dying. so I think as as a person, like we just need to sometimes check ourselves KELLY (23:44) I agree. Natalie Pilkinton (23:45) and and try and make sure that we're being better. Natalie Pilkinton (23:49) Or the other person too in that expectation, allowing something, just because they didn't text back one night or they didn't respond so a way that you would expect them to. Natalie Pilkinton (23:57) doesn't mean that it's over or doesn't mean that you can't work on it. That's where communication comes in. That's where building, that's how you end up at 25 years. That's how you get and then like the swiping thing, you said something like the swipe, swipe, swipe, there's always going to be something out there. There's always going to be another house that's better. I told my buyers that I've gone to 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 houses. These people love them. Love them. They we go places together and everything. But there comes a point when you gotta stop. Mm-hmm. And you got to pitch that tent right there and you got to go like this is who I'm going with and this is what I'm Natalie Pilkinton (24:27) doing and I I'm all in with this person. And people don't want to do that because they're too busy like, what's what's going on over there? When is right in front of KELLY (24:35) Is the grass greener over there? No. Natalie Pilkinton (24:37) Right in front of you is where it's at if you would just water that grass. KELLY (24:40) Well they think, we're in a fight. I'm not gonna fight over here. Yes, you are. It may be about something different. It could be about the exact same thing. It's not perfect. You know, I I joke around and say my marriage is not sunshine and rainbows, but my goodness, it's the only storm I ever want to be in. And it's the only, you know, it's my sunshine and rainbows. It's my, you know, I want to nurture this relationship and Natalie Pilkinton (25:03) Yeah. KELLY (25:04) If it and maybe there are those perfect relationships that are out there. I don't know, but to me, mine is my perfect. It's where I want to be. Is it hard work? It is absolutely hard work. You know, think about working. I work, I travel, I do so much. And my husband and I have figured out, and especially in our older years where we figured out that our time together is so important. So like we did with our kids when we would arrange the schedule around let's make sure I don't miss this and I don't miss that. Now it's you know, since the kids are older, it's KELLY (25:34) What is important to you, babe? What do we need to do? And then us communicating even more so where we used to sweep something under the rug and then we would get upset about things we didn't realize. Now it's like, all right, let's hit it head on. It's not always perfect like that. It doesn't always go that way. But it was so sweet the other day. We're floating in the pool and he swims up to me and I'm on the float and I'm like halfway asleep and I'm just very happy, just very peaceful. And he came up to me and he said, I love our life. Thank you. And it was and it was so sweet because I KELLY (26:04) I have and she and I've talked about it, I've been so intentional about making those moments. I wasn't always. And then I realized also how much he was missing me for how much I was traveling and how much I was just so focused on work. And even if I was home, it might have been one o'clock in the morning. I'm still in there working on clients and sessions and this, that, and the other. And I think well we're in the same house, so clearly that means we're spending time together. And Natalie Pilkinton (26:28) What is it? KELLY (26:29) then me realizing, no. So KELLY (26:32) Every relationship is different. Every human is different. Everything that our expectations are different. But I don't think and it and and again, take it for what it is, I'm I'm no expert in this at all. But I feel like if I wasn't with my husband, whatever issues or whatever amazingness we have, I'm still gonna have issues or amazingness over here. Like there's not one without the other. They they come together, if that makes sense. And so you were KELLY (27:01) saying and I thought, no offense, Gen Z. I love you. You're like, we want it now and instant gratification. That's what it made me think of that generation. But like I can't imagine if I was y'all's age where and I was single and I was having to go through the dating. I'm like I don't have time for the BS. I don't have time for all of that. So I I do understand it and I'm so well I understand it from an outsider's perspective. I can't even imagine being KELLY (27:28) Okay. Natalie Pilkinton (27:29) It does take time. But just like a relationship takes time too, right? You gotta be intentional with the dates. You gotta call the person. You gotta make make the time. Al Gonzalez (27:36) Gotta Al Gonzalez (27:36) make effort. KELLY (27:37) So when when you've got someone who and and women, me, is we tend to be overthinkers. I I'm a terrible overthinker. I I I am. You know I am. I I read into things and and sometimes and sometimes it's it's just so annoying. It's well, you didn't, you know, you didn't respond to my text. Or, you know, you could have just sent me a a sweet little emoji or or KELLY (28:01) You know, why why are you not emotional? I when you've got people or women or men who need that that little extra TLC and you're like, Al Gonzalez (28:11) Yes, we do. KELLY (28:12) I don't have that. I don't want that. But are you are those things you're like, you know, if that's the one annoying annoying character that you've got, are you are you okay with that? Do you I mean KELLY (28:23) I I guess when when we talk about compromise and don't compromise, I'm sure there's things that you're willing to compromise on and some that you're not. Al Gonzalez (28:29) Yes, I am. But finding that one person, it's not easy. KELLY (28:35) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (28:36) That's what's difficult. Very difficult. KELLY (28:40) So well, right, because the the the person that you dated for a little bit was from our hometown. We'd known you'd known for years. So it was it's easy to to do that because you kind of fall into that well I've known you, I know who you are and I know all the people that you run around with and that really helps KELLY (28:58) kind of solidify that person's character. And that's what helped me with Trevor, because I knew everyone that Trevor ran around with, so I thought, okay, he's obviously a good person because he run because he runs around the people I run around with. So you'll add a boy on my back. Natalie Pilkinton (29:11) I don't know why Titty Thumper just came to mind, but KELLY (29:14) Titty dumper. KELLY (29:15) What is your deal? This has been all day long. Every podcast you've brought up that something in some way, shape, or form. Natalie Pilkinton (29:22) That's why I was thinking like friends. Like friends she hangs out with. It was it was so part of the conversation. Al Gonzalez (29:29) So speaking of speaking of KELLY (29:31) We won't say his name. KELLY (29:35) Your party at your house. Natalie Pilkinton (29:37) Your friend. Titty Thumper KELLY (29:39) That okay, that's what yes. We had a yeah. Yeah. Her husband is a Marine, ex Marine, and one of Always a Marine. Always a Marine, yes, I'm sorry. And we had a party at our house, an anver a wedding reception kind of party for Trevor and I at our house and one of one of his he was he was a I think maybe now that's just an acquaintance. Natalie Pilkinton (30:01) Someone's how we KELLY (30:03) took it upon himself swim across the pool and thump her husband right in the titty in front of him. I was like Natalie Pilkinton (30:10) Pretty as nipples. KELLY (30:12) Yes. So anyway, sorry. Natalie Pilkinton (30:13) Not been back to the KELLY (30:15) Knocked KELLY (30:16) over motorcycles. he knocked over Al Gonzalez (30:18) C D. KELLY (30:19) knocked over my motorcycle, knocked over Trevor's motorcycle, put a dent in it. So anyway but Natalie Pilkinton (30:24) Okay, sorry. KELLY (30:25) But let I'm I'm gonna ask you a very difficult question. Friends. You and I have been friends, like I said, since since fifth grade. And I dated a few people who because when I ride in the in the motorcycle in our riding club, it's not a motorcycle club, it's a riding club. When I ride with them before I got married, it's co-ed, but and there were a few of us ladies who had our own bikes. KELLY (30:47) But the majority of the group were men. Some married, some not. And some of the men that I went out with had a real big problem with that. Because in their mind, and here's the question, men and women cannot be just friends. And the reason why is because men always want to get in your pants. KELLY (31:10) And I I mean I i it it's th there's some that don't believe it and there's some that do, but KELLY (31:16) I know you and I have been friends for for a very, very long time. I I feel very confident that you've never wanted to cross that line with me. Al Gonzalez (31:23) Not once. Never. KELLY (31:24) Which kind of offends me, but it's okay. I'm I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Because he he's he's So is it the man's problem or the woman's problem? Where are we going with this? I don't know, but he he's the most trusting person. And I do but I maybe because of our friendship and other friendships that I've had with other men, I've never felt like KELLY (31:44) There were there there was a a a line li I mean my husband's out of town right now. He's at the house staying in the guest house and Trevor's called two or three times and I was like, hey bud, what's going on? There's a lot of men who don't have the confidence in their wife or the relationship or that person's friendship to be okay with that. Natalie Pilkinton (32:02) I wouldn't. I wouldn't be okay with that. As as a female, like I I understand y'all's friendship and and I'm getting to know you more and I'm I love you, but I wouldn't be okay with that. Like no, that's too close and it's not and and as a Christian, like that just opens up for opportunity for something to happen. Not that it's something that would be planned, not that it's something, but it just opens up that window or that door for something to possibly happen. Natalie Pilkinton (32:30) Like if Mindy were to be out of town and I were to be down here and need a place to stay and it's just Travis at home, there's no way. Like I'll I'll get a hotel, I'll call you, I'll sleep in my car. I would not call Travis. KELLY (32:42) Well and Natalie Pilkinton (32:43) And Natalie Pilkinton (32:43) but I'm just saying because it's it's for me it's it's putting yourself in a position or an opportunity for somebody to say something, for somebody to think something, for something to actually happen, which whenever there is cheating or something like that, that's when opportunity presented itself. Good people cheat. Sure. And it happens because an opportunity presented itself, somebody got inebriated, some something happened. KELLY (33:05) I don't know. I have I have long term, really long term girlfriends in we almost twenty five years that I've been friends with since before Travis and I were married. Uh-huh. And if, you know, Pam or DeeDee or Rhonda or June called and said, Hey girl, I'm gonna be down, I'll be like, Call Travis, you've got the whole upstairs to yourself. Like I it would not bother me at all. And then I was just sitting here thinking about Uncle David. Al Gonzalez (33:26) Okay. KELLY (33:27) And I was like, Uncle David, Uncle David. Like, and he's not really family, but we think of him as family. And there's just people that you think of as family. I do see what you're saying, but I think there are truly and it and also I come from such a fall small family, you know, both my parents are deceased, and it's been a a long time. And my dad being an only child and my mom's family being from Panama, and I don't have anybody here except for my brother. I think maybe I might think differently about it and and the the trust. KELLY (33:56) that I have and people who I call family that's that's not blood related. Yeah. I don't have a pro I don't have a problem with that based on what you told me about him being like family. I see where your question was going and I know earlier you were joking with it. I do understand from your perspective and what you've seen. And maybe I'm I am naive, but I I'm okay with my stance. Well and and the way my KELLY (34:20) my house is set up, I have a house and a guest house which are completely separate from each other. Yeah. And so I I think that does bring a little bit more of a a of a separation. But if I had a house like yours that is, you know, on top, you know, two stories and everything, then KELLY (34:39) But I got cameras inside my house too. I would I would still I wouldn't even think to look at it. Yeah, I would still be okay with it. And and again, like you said, I'm a very trusting person and maybe there are people that I trust more than others, but it's just kind of one of those things that in my mind I I have a lot of male friends that I would not even think about. Ooh, I kind of yeah, wonder what it'd be like. I that doesn't even cross my mind. And so I just assume that when I have that relationship with a man KELLY (35:09) that they also draw that line in the sand and don't think I can't wait. But so I mean it just Natalie Pilkinton (35:15) I think there's a respect thing though too because Trevor's seeing the two of you guys together like Natalie Pilkinton (35:21) He's been around the whole time y'all been Absolutely. And so having seen the relationship and seen how y'all are together in front of somebody else too, because there are times and situations where the other person doesn't give that respect. Like they they you're being silly or they dismiss somebody's feelings, which is a red flag, right? Like if you're not but then there's also the crazy psycho where it's like, you know, and so you gotta be like dial it back, dial it back, that's not what's happening. But I I do think that there's a huge respect Natalie Pilkinton (35:50) And that's so and I I'm not mad at anybody, like I'm not mad at your stance, and I'm not, but it's just one of those things that's a comfort zone. Just like sure. I wouldn't I try not to isolate myself with a person like of the opposite sex, just to not put myself in a situation or like in a thing like that where but in business, we go to business dinners, we do things sometimes with so it it's just being mindful and respectful, like hey, this is where I'm at, this is what I'm doing, this is Natalie Pilkinton (36:17) That's huge. KELLY (36:17) kind KELLY (36:18) of took over this whole thing, the three of us, just females, imagine that us having opinions. Natalie Pilkinton (36:23) Al's Natalie Pilkinton (36:23) just like he's thankful. He's like Phew, had a hard talk. Mindy Price (36:26) No! KELLY (36:28) But seriously, no, I I would definitely stand up for my for our friendship and if Trevor had a problem with it. But at the end of the day, if Trevor said, if I'm not there, I would just prefer, you know, then he not be there. He would knowing him, he would understand. And I would say, Trevor's not here. But and it's not that I ever need Trevor's permission, but out of respect, I said, hey. KELLY (36:52) Al' and Trevor had planned on being in town, but I said, Hey, you're out of town. Al's still coming into town. Are you okay with him still staying in the guest house? And he was like, yeah, absolutely. KELLY (37:03) it absolutely was not that. And he actually said, you know, hey, I'm still coming down. What are you guys doing? I Well Trevor's working out of town. He was like, Natalie Pilkinton (37:10) Some of your KELLY (37:10) I said, No, it's okay. So yeah, so what are what are what are your thoughts? Al Gonzalez (37:14) With this, with that. Natalie Pilkinton (37:16) Yeah. KELLY (37:17) With anything. Just in general. You can speak to this and then just in general, 'cause we were we were generally speaking. Al Gonzalez (37:23) No, you're good. So in general, this girl knows and Trevor knows because I've told him I would die for this girl. KELLY (37:34) You were there. Al Gonzalez (37:37) I felt that I needed to be there as a friend, a long life friend, and the relationship we have is like none other. I can't explain it. The bond that I have with this girl. Al Gonzalez (37:51) And that we have together get emotional. Al Gonzalez (37:56) means more to me than anything. And if I do meet that someone, it's gonna be hard to tell them KELLY (38:06) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (38:07) where this girl stands. Because I would put Kelly first. They would have to just understand this is my to go my go-to person. And that's how it's been our whole life. I KELLY (38:20) yeah. Al Gonzalez (38:21) can call her up Al Gonzalez (38:23) Three years from now, not ever talk to her, and we'll pick right back up. KELLY (38:28) And it and it's funny because we did have some some time apart, but every once in a while I'd look down and there's my phone and it's ringing. How you doing girl? Just checking on you. But when when I had this surgery, he called and said, I'll be there in a few minutes. I'm like, What? He goes, you're not going to do the surgery without me. And so when I woke up and and I was messed up, I mean, not only did he take really ugly pictures of me, thank you very much. I mean Natalie Pilkinton (38:51) Okay. KELLY (38:51) but blackmail. It's just been KELLY (38:55) It's just been one of those things where KELLY (38:59) You just know that that person is your family, not by blood, but but forever. And it's just one of those things that yeah, I and I don't know I don't really know what it was, but I mean from the time he used to ride his bicycle down the street and cross in front of my house 'cause he was he had a crush on my best friend. But it was just kind of one of those things where we just connected all through all through school and it just KELLY (39:25) You know what I I hope and pray for both of you because of your love for her and your love for him on that friendship level. It's kinda y so my son's getting married in October and you think of it like my s my boys are like my my husband first. Of course, God first, then my husband, then my boys. And as a mom, it's really hard to give your son away. I I never understood the bond between a mom and a son and like I I didn't understand that whenever I was dating boys and the moms like weren't my KELLY (39:54) Why didn't you like me? Natalie Pilkinton (39:55) Yeah. KELLY (39:56) Like I didn't I didn't understand that. And then how protective the moms were. And I've tried not to be the overly protective mom. But as Tristan's getting married, and I love Ella, my future daughter in love, knowing that I'm no longer gonna be his first. I'm still that call and where I'm going with this for y'all, because I love him so much. KELLY (40:18) And I'm so happy to see the love that he has with her. I know that my bond with him, unless I do something very silly, is always going to be there. And I have to be very respectful of that. But I know that Ella is gonna take that front seat. And so when I say this, understand this only because when you and if you find that person that does deserve KELLY (40:44) And give you all those things and take that seat. What I hope and pray is two things. One's real selfish. I'll tell you about that here in a minute. Okay. But I hope and pray that Kelly loves her so much and you find this amazing relationship and she better not take my spot. KELLY (41:04) And KELLY (41:07) But you know what I mean? Like I I I I hear you and I feel the emotion of it and I think that's the mama hen in me, you know, coming out and going, my gosh, I I I I feel like how cool that would be for you to find someone that you love so much and they get along so well and then you it's just so amazing together because she loves you and does want that. Natalie Pilkinton (41:29) You gotta allow space though. If somebody else is occupying that space, like does that give somebody else an opportunity to fill that space? So that's the only thing, too. Like Kelly's great sister, and I I it's not like a therapy session, but I hear exactly what you're saying. Like you've gotta have a void that is fillable. And yeah, obviously Kelly would need to get along with her to KELLY (41:51) so funny KELLY (41:51) is that it knowing how much I love this person and and I am so thankful that I found you know that I found Trevor and I'm happy and I want that part of his heart to be filled up as well. Yeah. And it's not like as long as I like her and she likes me. It's not that. It it's it's just one of those things that KELLY (42:13) There are certain there are certain aspects of of his heart that I can't I can't fill Yeah. And and I want that. No, you're right. And and but but in the meantime, you know, when when I met Trevor, I had finally learned how to be alone. And I wasn't independent. And independent and lonely. There's a difference between being alone and being being alone and being lonely. Yeah. And I learned how to be alone. And sometimes I'm like, I like being alone. KELLY (42:41) But sometimes there's like, you know what, I I like someone to have something to do something to do, somewhere to go. And but it's just different when it's your plus one versus your partner. So I I mean I know I know that that that dating is is is so different and women are so hard to to figure out and and this whole thing kind of kinda took more of a a deeper emotional turn because we kinda wanted to be all funny about so why Natalie Pilkinton (43:05) We didn't even we didn't even like what's a script? KELLY (43:07) Why are you I don't buy how why why are women why are women so difficult and when they don't text you back and you don't text them back But I d I I think it's I just think it is such a different i and it's still a game Dating is still a game out there and it is just so Yeah y you know, when you don't have the rules 'cause there are no rules anymore. KELLY (43:31) I mean you get ghosted, you get treated badly, you it just it's it's horrible. But Al Gonzalez (43:36) As Mindy said, there's no communication nowadays in relationships. KELLY (43:41) And you think because of social media there's there should be, but there there's I'm sorry, there's just not. my gosh, so we were on the way up here. Al picked me up, they come to the house and I'm on Facebook. Natalie Pilkinton (43:52) That's why I couldn't find Hell's vehicle outside. I'm like, Am I at the right place? no, sorry guys. KELLY (43:56) And KELLY (43:57) and so this is what's so bizarre to me. So I'm on Facebook and I see this person that I have respected over the years posting about a breakup. And I understand people announce that they're Natalie Pilkinton (44:10) Overshare. KELLY (44:12) it was very much an oversharing thing. KELLY (44:14) But it's like okay, you know, you do you and just like we all have our different profiles for different things and so this is personal and I happen to be on this person's personal profile. But then I looked and I saw how many work people were also on this and they were very open about the relationship, very nice and kind about the relationship. I was like, okay, this is like therapy. They're saying we're moving on, I'm doing the best. Like it was kind of like a a final, here's what's happening. So KELLY (44:43) Don't ask me, but all these things. Very nicely put together. It's like, okay, there were three comments, so I was nosy. I was gonna go comment, but I also wanted to read the comments. I will admit to that. Natalie Pilkinton (44:54) That's why it's posted for you to read it. KELLY (44:57) So the second comment was him responding Natalie Pilkinton (45:02) Responded KELLY (45:03) No, KELLY (45:03) I'm trying not to laugh because I'm trying to be very serious. And and the laughing is because I don't know how to respond to this. This was it blew my mind. He he basically said my response to so and so and then he destroyed this person and fake so he was very took the high roid road road. Took the high road in his main. He might have been on steroids for his response, but just kidding. he took the high road and said KELLY (45:31) Hey so-and-so, I just want you to know that I know what you did. I chose not to put it out there. So you should also take the high road. And it was like a version of that that was this long, and I just condensed it to this. And I was just like, whoa. Natalie Pilkinton (45:46) Yeah. KELLY (45:47) Her comment was nowhere in this thread. So I don't know if she deleted it or if he was just putting it out there for attention. Or nonetheless, who am I to judge? I'm just saying I didn't know how to process it. KELLY (46:00) Because I'm also like you are a professional. I know what you do for a living. You're putting this out there. You're clearly hurting. But the fact that we put so much stuff that is very personal on social media, once it's out there, you can't take it back. Not saying none of us have made mistakes and this person is hurting, but it's just a Natalie Pilkinton (46:20) I some overshare. Like they they're in an emotional state. They overshare and then you go back and delete. But that's also I love block. Like I block people. Like if I'm tired and my boundaries have been pushed, like I don't have to have you in my life anymore. Block there. I'm done. KELLY (46:33) Are you KELLY (46:34) on social media? Yes. You are. Are you on it often? How do you use it? Al Gonzalez (46:38) I could care less. Natalie Pilkinton (46:39) Ha ha ha. KELLY (46:39) But do you check it daily? Like No. When do you get on? Al Gonzalez (46:43) If I get on, I go to marketplace. Natalie Pilkinton (46:46) You look at virtual wheels? Al Gonzalez (46:46) I'm shopping for something. Natalie Pilkinton (46:48) Something. A toy. Some single person toy. KELLY (46:51) She she did find her husband on Facebook, by the way. Natalie Pilkinton (46:54) Not marketplace. But Facebook game. No, I'm just kidding. That's funny, that's good too. KELLY (47:00) I mean y yeah. I I mean you have the dating sites and and honestly the problem of the dating sites is that you are getting not not the real version. I mean you're cat you're being catfished and I mean there's it's just diffic it's difficult. The dating scene the these days is just difficult and whether or not you want to meet someone not at a bar but maybe at church, maybe at a concert or maybe through mutual friends or a a a dating site, I mean it's just KELLY (47:27) It's just it's tough it's a tough road. It is a absolute tough road and that's why sometimes I I constantly think, Okay, who who would be a good match for either Al or so and so or you know, so and so or you you constantly think because you want someone to be happy and you want them to be fulfilled. Yeah. But there's just so much KELLY (47:48) non non genuine is that a word non I mean you said this we are all I I don't know about you I hope that you are. Are you a Christian? Yes. Okay. So all three of us all four of us. She all four of us are Christians and you mentioned you meet somebody at church and you would hope that that would be a great place. Somebody very very very very close to me got close to somebody was dating we all were so excited and happy and we're like okay okay this person KELLY (48:16) Yes, we like them and and they dated for quite some time. Then we found out she was cheating on him for several months. It's just so e so it's like it's I I can only imagine how hard it is to date. And so it's how do you you being so busy and working so much, how do you I guess you just trust me and what's supposed to be is supposed to be Natalie Pilkinton (48:39) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (48:40) So I do want a Christian Al Gonzalez (48:41) woman, but I would not date someone from my church. Natalie Pilkinton (48:46) Okay. Al Gonzalez (48:47) Because if things go wrong, if it doesn't work out, someone's gonna be uncomfortable. KELLY (48:53) You know what, I would challenge you to say, I'm sorry, and I just interrupted you, but I'm gonna say this. I wanna challenge that to say, you know what? If God's in the right place and you pray about it, you're gonna be uncomfortable for a minute, but you're gonna be okay. Natalie Pilkinton (49:05) Just Natalie Pilkinton (49:05) laughing because God's gonna throw someone in the pew right next to him and it's gonna be like Al Gonzalez (49:09) I would be okay with it, but someone's feelings are gonna be hurt. Say she was there before me, and this is her home church. Natalie Pilkinton (49:18) But if you're respectful and you end it like an ar Al Gonzalez (49:20) Well Al Gonzalez (49:20) I would be respectful. Cause KELLY (49:22) And that's on her. Al Gonzalez (49:23) I would just Al Gonzalez (49:26) Once it's over, it's over. I'm not gonna sit there and try again. Al Gonzalez (49:31) I don't wanna have her have to leave her church if she was there before me and she leaves because Natalie Pilkinton (49:38) This could make you comfortable. KELLY (49:41) Then that's whose fault, yours or hers? No. Whoever's uncomfortable. Right. Al Gonzalez (49:45) But I wouldn't want that for somebody else. KELLY (49:47) I think you're you're making a decision and you're giving somebody who may or may not have be an amazing person. I'm just saying as your new therapist. Natalie Pilkinton (49:58) You're limiting yourself when it could be a very good opportunity because you really don't have a lot of opportunities to meet somebody and you're meeting them at your spiritual place, which is where that's the number one thing. That just might be. I'm just KELLY (50:11) Your heart is right with God, it doesn't matter. When you see each other, if you're truly a good human, then you're cordial. Will it be uncomfortable? But a year from now it's not. A little bit of discomfort and uncomfort? So what? Al Gonzalez (50:24) I'm okay with it. Then you want her to say Natalie Pilkinton (50:26) But I wouldn't want to Natalie Pilkinton (50:28) any different KELLY (50:29) You're KELLY (50:30) putting words into somebody else's mind and thought. That's an excuse. Yes. Okay. Natalie Pilkinton (50:36) Trying to say church up. Church up, motherfucker. KELLY (50:39) I'm just trying to say what you just told me was an excuse. It sounds like the gentleman a nice thing to do. What I heard was an excuse. Natalie Pilkinton (50:47) he doesn't want her to see how he really is. Al Gonzalez (50:53) Never know. Natalie Pilkinton (50:55) you don't ever know. KELLY (50:57) one KELLY (50:57) of those lines we talked about you know, the whole Venus and Mars and everything like that and we know we're all very different from the emotional standpoint of what we want, what we don't want. So if if you're in a situation where you meet someone KELLY (51:14) I mean what are you willing to step back? I mean th there's obvious there's obviously some differences because you and I talked about that this morning about how KELLY (51:23) and how how did you word it? You said that men when I talked about Trevor working out of town and sometimes, you know, with with me having my my my surgery and having difficulty, you know, doing some things, some some men don't like to not be able to fix things. KELLY (51:41) And and the way your thought process is men are here to make sure that they are the provider and they are the one to make their their mate or their spouse happy. And sometimes it's really difficult if they're not able to do that. Am I am I saying it right or 'cause I Natalie Pilkinton (51:58) No, that's correct. KELLY (51:58) Okay. Because you know, it it just it's kinda one of those things where we just talk about the major differences between KELLY (52:04) Men and women and some men have a very difficult time meeting the emotional needs of of a woman. So when it's and sometimes we don't understand it. Al Gonzalez (52:12) So we were just talking in general about different things and Kelly has a lot of ideas and a lot of things going on in her mind right now with home chores and changing things up and this and that the other. So she has a list. So for a man Natalie Pilkinton (52:30) Or for Al Gonzalez (52:31) Yes, I'll say a man. KELLY (52:33) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (52:34) A man wants his woman to be happy no matter what. So whatever we have to do, however many jobs we gotta get to make that woman happy, that's what we will do if our woman lets us. If she's okay with it. Okay, you know what? We can't afford that right now. But you know what? We can. What if I go get another job, a part-time job, so we can cover this? KELLY (52:58) Okay. Al Gonzalez (52:59) Break down your list from ten different ideas you have to two. Sit down with your man and say, Okay, babe, I've narrowed it down to this. Which one do you like best and why? What do you like best and why? Natalie Pilkinton (53:19) Why? Al Gonzalez (53:21) And let's make a decision and go with it. A man don't want to hear ten different things that you have going going on. KELLY (53:29) Yeah. Al Gonzalez (53:30) We just want to provide for a woman. We want to make them happy. So narrow it down so our minds are not everywhere like yours. We're let me know what you want, let's get it done. And we'll make sure it gets done. Natalie Pilkinton (53:46) Cheers to that. KELLY (53:47) Cheers to that. KELLY (53:51) Well, and where that came from was the s and I know we need to wrap up soon, but where where it came from was my personal issue of dealing with my lack of independence right now because of my surgery and me not being able to go out there and say, I need to do this and grab a hammer and just start getting after it because I you know, I may grab the hammer and throw it across the room and and I just am not as independent as I used to be. And so the the list KELLY (54:14) of things that I have to do that normally out of twenty I could probably do fifteen. Well now out of those twenty I can maybe maybe do four or five. And so Tre I had this long list and Trevor has to work and everything and fortunately he doesn't force me to go out and and do work other than the podcast and stuff. But I just don't I don't I can't do as much as I could once before. KELLY (54:38) And so I do hit him with that list. And that's where it came up because I was like, I want to do this, I want to do that, I want to do this. And he looked at me like, are you kidding? I was like, I came Natalie Pilkinton (54:48) tired from your good lord KELLY (54:52) home and I came home and he had my entire yard was completely done. It was manicured. It was at and I like, Well, I heard something this morning and off he went and he went and took care of Macy's yard. I was like, okay, well there's two things off the list, you know. KELLY (55:08) But it's just it's certain projects and stuff and so he made me understand that as women we may get upset because someone doesn't prioritize things the way the same way we do. But it's not the their lack of desire. It's like let let's put out there what we can do so we can both be happy. Yeah. And and it's I mean women hey, women are demanding. W we this one is. KELLY (55:32) I mean I don't to speak for y'all, but I know this one is. And it's Natalie Pilkinton (55:34) We know A little extra KELLY (55:39) extra. But it it just it's sometimes it's tough. Because I he the last time he was here, I was complaining about something and it was me not getting my way. And he very much let me know Trevor's perspective and I went, KELLY (55:57) So and that's what a good that's what a good friend does is 'cause I didn't see objectively from Trevor's, you know, thought process. So originally this is gonna be men are from Mars, women are from Venus, then we were gonna talk about the mu man and the woman's perspective, but we did go off on a bit of a tangent, but I think there were some really fun things today. I I do too. I I I just think that it we talk about the difficulty with dating, but we talk about the b compromise. KELLY (56:23) and what you're looking for and dating is never gonna be easy. But when you choose someone that has integrity and a standards, then both parties have to be willing to compromise. And hopefully you find that that middle ground where everyone is happy and can move on and Balance. Balance. Balance. What was that? Natalie Pilkinton (56:43) Yeah. KELLY (56:44) Balance. just say that's it as it's six seven. Mindy Price (56:48) Is that a KELLY (56:49) thing anymore. Yeah. It is for some people. My my little my little Taya, my little bonus grandbaby, you can say six she's six seven, six seven I still don't even know what the hell all that means, but it's okay. I th I I think my life has not been compromised any because I don't know the whole story about six seven, but it's okay. But along those lines, even though we did go off on a little bit of a tangent, and we are certainly not the what was her name, Ruth Westheimer. We're not the Doctor Westheimer. We don't know KELLY (57:15) all the ins and outs about dating because certainly we've had not this one but we've had our ups and downs with dating. so we're not we're not coaches in dating, but if you do need coaching and leadership leadership and communication leadership and communication and not dating. I mean we might have conversations about it but that's not what's and that's what I was saying. If you are a professional and you do need some guidance and leadership and communication on a serious note. KELLY (57:40) This is the lady to go to. If you want some information on real estate investing, you know, this is this is your go-to gal over here. If you have any questions about non-medical home health, whether it is you need the care or you just have questions about it, please feel free to reach out to me. Al Gonzalez (57:57) And if you have any landscaping needs or desires, needs and wants, it don't matter where you live at. Natalie Pilkinton (58:04) It doesn't matter? Al Gonzalez (58:05) I can give you an idea from Japan. Natalie Pilkinton (58:07) huh. KELLY (58:08) Right, right. But if you are in the Memphis area in in and around there, look him up, Al Gonzalez. So you can actually meet him in person. Yes, ladies, do you need your lawn looked at? Al Gonzalez (58:18) What Al Gonzalez (58:19) do you need some landscaping? KELLY (58:22) I KELLY (58:22) was gonna say you your bush looked at Natalie Pilkinton (58:27) Sorry. No you're not. This is this is why KELLY (58:30) How KELLY (58:30) we have that censor thing on on the podcast that we say KELLY (58:34) Yes, we sometimes don't express each other's opinions or the pin but anyway, so but we like to have a good time. We like to enjoy little cocktail every once in a while. So join us, come listen to us, look us up on sugar spice and spirits.com KELLY (58:49) Check out this guy, he's really awesome, but I have to like you first. and thank you for joining us. And if you have any ideas for future podcasts, you want to spill the tea a little bit, we welcome you in. But in the meantime, I hope you have a great time. Thank you for coming. Because I know you were so scared at first, even though it did take a little bit. Natalie Pilkinton (59:04) But KELLY (59:06) And I'm not saying he's not gonna be back, and maybe next we will stay on KELLY (59:08) tracks. KELLY (59:08) She's Can we hurry up and toast her? Natalie Pilkinton (59:11) Cheers to you guys. Enjoy. KELLY (59:14) Cheers.