Hot-Tub Truths: Owning Uncomfortable Situations

Speaker 2 (00:36) This is the most uncomfortable situation we're doing. Speaker 1 (00:40) Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Sugar Spice and Spirits. I am one of your co-hosts, Kelly Williams, and I'm here along with my two mania friends. Speaker 3 (00:51) Maniac. you mean Natalie. Speaker 1 (00:53) I say that in the most loving and honorable way. And if you're wondering why we are in this particular environment, our topic for the day is uncomfortable situations. So what better way to be uncomfortable than to come live to you in bathing suits in a hot tub? So to get us started, I originally had chosen some wine as the drink of the day, sip of the day, excuse me. I got totally overruled. So I went in and totally raided Mindy's cabinet and found tequila. So to get us started, and get this kicked off, we are going to start with a really good, do you know which tequila? 1800s coconut, so it's got a nice little sweet twist to it, so on that note, let's do a little quick cheers. Party, Ever. Ever, yes. Speaker 3 (01:29) This was 1800 coconut. Speaker 2 (01:37) Cheers! The most uncomfortable podcast. Speaker 1 (01:47) geez, wow. I finished mine. Speaker 2 (01:49) And we didn't. I left some to sip on later. But you have to say why we did tequila. Why did you get overruled? Speaker 1 (01:56) Well, because wine just didn't really seem to fit the moment with a laid-back pool setting and not to mention our little prop, I guess. Speaker 3 (02:04) You called it my happy. You're happy. Speaker 1 (02:06) We always see each other's happy moments out in the community and when we see that, we tend to buy each other gifts. Natalie got us some really cool mugs one day and I happen to see Mindy being our tequila connoisseur. I got her this little float that says, you're going to be salty, bring the tequila and it just screamed her name. So there you go. Perfect. So on that note, let's get started. I think I kicked it off by saying we're going to do an uncomfortable situation podcast in the hot tub in our bathing suits. that's one brilliant point for me. So Mindy, Natalie, can you guys hit upon any uncomfortable situation that you guys have been in that maybe you feel like you kind of owned it, you know, be the boss and excelled at it, or maybe you completely just cratered and failed. Speaker 3 (02:52) This is probably my most uncomfortable. I mean, there's been other uncomfortable situations in business and in life, but this has to be one where I'm like, my gosh. So I grew up in the old school, I guess, where you don't get in your swimsuit around clients and in business. And in my industry, I would see more and more where individuals and companies were having parties at in Vegas and at the pool. And it was super fun. And I would never partake. I don't know if it was just, I was embarrassed or I knew that the companies that I was working for at the time. would completely frown upon that. It was just something that never crossed my mind. And I would see other people having so much fun, but I was like, yeah, but we don't do that. I wouldn't judge them. I just wouldn't be there. And it would make me feel weird and uncomfortable. And so when this came up and Natalie was like, yeah, in the hot tub, uncomfortable situations, I was like, my God, my God, my God, my God. I had to talk to my husband and he was like, babe, get over it. Like, you know, like there are so many parties and you know, different things. that are just fine and it's okay. And so I had to like swallow my pride super happy I just had tequila to do it but it was just something in business and when we think about it while we're having fun with this it's also a business and so to do this it's very much outside of my comfort zone but I will also say there have been times in my life that I have like fallen flat on my face and I have failed in front of people and like something didn't go off years ago planned. And instead of just hiding and running from it, Kelly, it was all about, well, what can I learn from that? And how can I do it better next time? And learning from those situations. And sometimes those situations, Kelly, were making sure that I never put myself in that situation again. Speaker 1 (04:37) Well, and I think in one of our previous podcasts, you spoke on being a mentor and guiding others. And anyone who's been a mentor or was looking up for a mentor knows that life is not all about 100 % successes. You have to have those stumbling blocks. have to have, know, Natalie is our real estate guru. And I look to her when I tell you guys that my very first real estate investment was it sucked. It was terrible. I got laughed at, but I surrounded myself with people who taught me, hey, the next time this is what you don't do. And so now I feel like I have the ammunition and the proper tools to make that next journey way more successful than it was before. And I'll be the first one to tell you, you know what? When they say this what you don't do, go talk to her, that's me. And I'm actually kind of proud of that. I own it because I was open enough to say, you know what? I'm not gonna let it scare me off. I realized the importance and what opportunities there are out there. with real estate investing and because I was a flop the first time around, I'm kicking ass now. And it was because I surrounded myself by people that, I'm from a medical background. I didn't know diddly doodah about real estate, but I feel very comfortable now knowing if I jump into that next role, I've got these guys and other people around me to help me out. So. Speaker 2 (05:56) Yeah, so for me uncomfortable situation, I think a lot of times Mindy you might be in this but I don't know but being the only female in the room like You're you're up there and for me. I just look at it like I don't care I'm here to do my job and I'm gonna do my job and I'm gonna do it Well, so I don't think if it's not made an issue It's not an issue if somebody makes it an issue. It's on them. So just being your best You I think is the biggest thing another time I was in an uncomfortable situation was recently whenever I was running for school board and we were asked to speak for the teachers association which the teachers association is going to tow the line with the superintendent and with the school board and I was looking to unseat a very popular school board member and the reason why I was running was on principal right there was a sex trafficking case that went really big within our district that the school board or the I don't know if the school board knew but HR definitely knew and there was definitely a cover-up which allowed things to continue for over a year within the district. I ran on principal and I ran because there wasn't anybody held accountable for the actions of these children that were victimized. And there's a number of other things, but the Teachers Association asked us to go and speak for them. And I know some of my other candidates were like, I don't know, like, I was like, we're just going to speak. Teachers have an individual vote. I'm going to advocate for them because there's too much stuff going on in the classroom. So I'm not going to talk to the upper level principals who are trying to, you know, brown nose or trying to work their way up and doing what they need to do to get there. I'm going to speak to the teachers individually that aren't supported in the classroom and how can we help support them? What do they need and how can we provide that? Because it boils down to our kids and our teachers and how do we make it better? But it was a very uncomfortable situation whenever you've got the existing board members forcing their signs in all the teachers' and it was a very select few teachers and it was all the rest of the school board members and then high level in the super's office, you know, in the administrative office. So, but that situation, I'm just gonna be me. I'm just gonna let my light shine and I'm gonna stand on principle and I'm gonna stand tall. And I think by doing that, you know, everything circles back to who you are as a person and what you stand for and what you believe in and showing up for your job in these uncomfortable situations. What is your point in doing that? What is your purpose? The reason this came about we had just come off a really tough podcast that we got really deep sometimes we get really light sometimes we get really deep and we were really just heavy and we're like wow we need to do our next one in the pool just because and that's when we were talking about uncomfortable situations because you had had some uncomfortable situations come up and it's how do you navigate those waters and I think you navigate them with class and principle and just staying true to yourself so Speaker 1 (08:52) No, I'm absolutely 100 % because when I think about you, you are going against an incumbent and forgive me, I don't know how long he'd already been, you know, part of that position. But when you're an incumbent and you've been in a position for a long time, people just, they get used to you and all of a sudden, here comes Natalie and she's ready and she's not rippling the waters y'all. She brought a tsunami with her and you know, it opens people's eyes but it gives those people who are too afraid to speak a voice. And I really think that all the issues that are so, I mean, I'm older than these two ladies. I'm not going to admit how much, but I Barely older. But I remember when I was in school, just the amount of respect that went to our principals. If my principal walked down the hall, we stood at attention. at Brazoswood High School scared the snot out Speaker 2 (09:32) Barely. Barely. Speaker 1 (09:48) Sadly, yes, I'm a physical therapist. He ended up being one of my patients. He came in one day and bless his heart. he was arthritic and was having a very difficult time getting around. And when he walked in and he said, I remember you, it was a very uncomfortable situation for me to be the authoritative figure because now I was a physical therapist telling him how to do his job, but y'all, still scared the crap out of me. And I think that really resonates with a lot of people and when you come in and exercise your voice of what you know was going on and sometimes challenge people to say speak up because you know what's going on. When you say you're a phenomenal speaker out in a public venue and just you know when you exercise your rights to bring facts to the people and and people around you I mean it just it's it's a lot. to be reckoned with. I mean, it just, it's, I I applaud you for, that was a huge, mean, child trafficking and that's, that's a huge thing to take on as a new person fighting the incumbent. So. Speaker 3 (10:54) Remember how uncomfortable we all felt? We're like you were telling me stories and we're like, oh my gosh You're hitting this head-on you were not Dealing with the fear that a lot of people would have and so when you think about it a school somebody running for school board and to think about how big this district was Y'all she got over 35,000 votes and this is for a school board position and she's lost by a small margin, but she was not the You were the new person Speaker 1 (11:10) Thank Speaker 3 (11:24) coming in. Speaker 1 (11:25) completely unknown and just open some doors and just I mean now there's so many issues now that are on the table and you can talk about how the income let's no longer Speaker 2 (11:34) Yeah, the incumbent ended up resigning all of a sudden, moved out of the district after living there his whole life. However, that was my second time to run. I didn't... time. That was my second time to run. However, I found my voice more so the second time. Like I didn't get it the first time. Speaker 3 (11:50) How many votes did you get the first? Speaker 2 (11:51) I don't know, I think 12,000, but I was on the ballot with Donald J. Trump. That's one of the things. This last election was one of the wildest, busiest, craziest elections. We were printing every day to hand out, everybody working the polls because I was on a slate and we had a campaign manager and everything. So I did learn from round one to round two and I'm a glutton for punishment. just, know, it's Martin Luther King, know, be the change you want to see. It's that resonates with me. I don't somebody always sits back. Not your circus, not your monkey or you know somebody else will handle it like somebody else will stop and be the witness at that wreck. That's not how I operate. That's just not if I see something I'm going to say something. I believe in standing up for what's right and my kids are in the district. I have three that have graduated. I've got one bonus baby that's left and you know it's we can be better and we can do better. Our schools deserve better. Our students deserve better and our teachers deserve better. The respect is gone. However, there's a certain level of respect from fear, not a respect that's earned. It's a dictatorship almost in a sense. is the bad kids are running the classroom. The teachers have 504s. Every kid has a 504 practically, which is a special plan that each kid has or an IEP and they've got to work off that. So you have 20 kids and half the kids have a certain disciplinary. in action or have teachers can't function like that. It's you've got it's like general population along with the Rugrats with everything else and I'm sorry those kids that are causing an issue the disciplinarian issues need to be dealt with they don't need to be let back in the classroom and so yeah I stand on principle when I talk on it but it took me a little bit to find my voice if you ever run for office you've got two minutes in a public forum when you're going to speak at the you know the networking events on Wednesday night when you're going to the caucus or the Republican meetup or the liberal meetup or wherever you're going to talk, you get two minutes to make an impression. And I'm not one to sugarcoat things as much. Mindy is very good at keeping it very professional and bringing out the best, but I'm more direct and to the point. And I'll sugarcoat on the back end once we get the work done and once we're moving and motivating and going. But I have two minutes. So like there were people that would be in the audience that would stand up and yell at me at these events. you a damn lie like I didn't lie about one thing because they just take and they wrap themselves around one axle and they're hearing what they want to hear this particular gentleman had to be removed from the event but You have to be direct and to the point and be able to articulate your point to be able to understand why a person should care. Not enough people care about the education. You know, grandmas and grandpas, you think you don't care. You don't have a kid in school, but it affects your property values. The schools affect how much you pay and what your rate is. If you're in a bad school district, you're not going to get as much for your house. So everybody should be involved in the schools and in the community and volunteering. How do you do that? How do you get involved? How do you get respect back into the classroom? When you got a teacher, when a fight breaks up, they can't even break it up. They remove everybody else or lock themselves in a room. They can't break up fights anymore. Or if a kid's tables because he's got an issue, they let the kid flip tables, stop all the other kids testing and remove them. So tough situations, tough conversations will have to happen. And it's uncomfortable because People these days, and I think this is a huge issue within the district that I ran in, they don't want to have those tough conversations. They want to sweep it under the rug. They want to put on a smiley face. It's like the Stepford wives. They want to act like everything is perfect, but it's not perfect. Nobody is perfect. You have to have tough conversations to be able to grow, to be better, to deal with. And you keep sweeping things under the rug. You're going to keep having sexual predators taking advantage of the situation because they're not even getting fired. point because they don't want the publicity of having a fire teacher for sexual images or anything with improper relations. They just move them along to the next district. It's like passing the troublemaker to the next one when they need to be locked up. So anyway, I'll get off my soapbox. Sorry, that's a little bit of a tangent there. Speaker 1 (16:10) This is the person that you want in your corner because you can, I think you can feel and hear her passion. That's huge. To have the passion for your cause is huge. No matter what it is, whether it's school board or work or business or personal, your kids, your family, whatever, the passion is what drives you. And I think it's definitely a driving force behind me Natalie. Speaker 3 (16:32) Yeah, when you have that passion and that purpose, it's everything else is out the window. It's you know what, I'm just going to go for it. And what's the worst thing? And I can remember whenever you were and I know we didn't mean this to be about the school board and you running, but it is a great thing. Speaker 3 (16:45) Okay Mindy, so I know whenever I mentioned being the only female in the room, you kind of made a face like, yep, been there, done that. Speaker 1 (16:53) You just reminded me of one of the most uncomfortable situations in my career, but probably super instrumental. And I won't take a long time to tell you all the details of it, but I'll never forget getting dropped off first time in a private jet. That was really cool. But you know, here I have all of these grand ideas of how great this is going to be. And I roll into this big conference where there are like no exaggeration. If there were 2000 men in a suit. I'm being generous if I say there were 200 women that were there. And not only to add to that, it was these were people, a lot of them, that's being overly generous. But you know, several hundred of them I knew, they were either friends or clients, and now they were my competitors. The rest were complete strangers, bankers, investors. I was there to pick up fee management business and to grow this company that I went to work for. And I was freaking out. There are a lot of funny stories, including I wasn't fully registered for the event. whenever I went to go get my ticket, they told me the cost of registering on site and being a non-member was obnoxious. And I was like, what do I do? And I was like, OK, just executive decision. Have this credit card. Go ahead and pay for it. Speaker 3 (18:01) detail Speaker 1 (18:16) So then I walk in and I see all of this taking place and I see my friends who are being friends, but they're kind of giving me the side eye because, you know, I'm their competitor and it was just. Speaker 3 (18:26) They didn't believe in the sun and the moon in the same sky kind of theory like dimming the lights. Speaker 2 (18:30) Let's not lift her up. Speaker 1 (18:31) Yeah, no, like it was, it was a lot. So then I look around and I literally have never been so freaked out. And I looked and I was like, where can I go? And I see this sign and it says powder room. Okay, let me go to the powder room. And I escaped into what I kid you not, I joke around and say it was like 5,000 square feet for a powder room. I don't know how big it was, but it was so big. And I just sat in this one corner and I felt so small. I felt so small because I was just like, am out of my element. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't fit in here. And then I literally had to give myself a 30 minute pep talk on, I've got this. I can do this. Believe in yourself. And then finally I walked out. was like, what is the worst that can happen? Like I get fired because I stay in the powder room and cry or, you know, I pull up my pants and I go out there and I figure this out because dammit, I'm here for a reason. And that's what I did and I got so lucky. And I literally was just putting this together. I ran into this man with a very thick Irish accent. I just got back from Ireland. like, I think that's what jogged my memory on this. he was so kind. He was so cool. And he introduced me to a broker in Houston. His name was Tom Wilkinson and he's still in Houston. He's an awesome guy. And literally these two introduced me to so many people. And I took that opportunity and I met as many people as I could and I networked and I made connections and I followed up and it ended up being such a huge successful trip. But it took me tripping out and freaking out and not believing in myself and having to give myself the pep talk and to go out there and to choose you can fail and run away or you can just. figure it out and that's what I did. And I'm so thankful that I did. But literally talking to you all about that and feeling all of those emotions, it was the most uncomfortable besides right now. Well, I've had tequila, so not that uncomfortable, but it was the most uncomfortable I've ever been. But that was probably one of the biggest moments for me to grow. And y'all heard some of the funny stories about that whole thing and how we got there and just the moment after one another and it was like the third straw i was like nothing else can go wrong nothing else went wrong Speaker 2 (21:00) And you know, the thing is that people put their trust in you and even though you felt like you were inept or not quite up to caliper, there are other people that believed in you. mean, the very first time I had to give a presentation at a medical conference, I was a little 24 year old physical therapist in a room full of white coat doctors who all had been doctors for the longest time. But I was presenting on a topic that was brand new and all of a sudden I was the authority. And so I was shaking in my shoes when I walked in. But at the end of my presentation, I can't tell you how many of the physicians came to me asking questions. And suddenly, I realized that they put their trust in me, as well as my team that put me up there on the podium. So a lot of times, your lack of confidence can be a motivator or it can be a killer. And so you sometimes have to, like you said, sit in that corner, give yourself a pep talk, and realize there's a reason why you're in that position. Somebody puts you in that position, and you just have to find that inner strength to get you out of that comfort position, out of that comfort zone, and make it your comfort zone, just like you did. By the time I left, I thought I was, you know, all that, because I suddenly felt like I had gained their respect and their trust after my 30-minute talk. And so it's huge. just like when you stood up in of the school board. All of sudden you brought things to light that people probably wanted to brush under the rug and somebody said, nope, we're not gonna do that. So as an entrepreneur, as a mother, a collegiate, as whatever position you're in, there's a reason why you're there and you have to just grab that bull by the horns and just go after Speaker 3 (22:49) So I have a funny story talking about like our RIA and wealth advisors and going to conferences and being one of the only females in the room, which is fine and fantastic. I was at this conference and I have like a two drink rule, like I'll go downstairs because when you go to conferences, you always have the time after the conference is over, you know, the speaking and the events and the breakouts and you go down to the bar and you have a beer or two or a beverage or two. So I always I leave it to two and that's it. I'm done. I don't do anything else. Right. Sometimes I'll go to after things if my colleagues want to go, but I don't like to travel by myself and those things. So I just, I'm kind of smart with it. Went down and had two beverages. My coworker and I, we both go back to our rooms. And then the next day I have a gentleman walk up to me and he's like, just, need to apologize to you. And I said, okay, apologize to me for what? He goes, about last night. And I said, what do you think happened last night? And he said, well, we were having a couple of beverages. said, where, did we have these beverages? And he said, well, we left the hotel and went to that second bar. And I was like, that was not me, buddy. That was not me. Whatever. He goes, I kissed you. And I was like, was not me. Like, I don't know who you kissed, but I'm not the one. And he's like, I'm so sorry. He apologized to my coworker who, who was actually underneath me, but he apologized to him, which It was just such an awkward situation. Afterwards, he did end up finding out who he kissed. And I guess she was OK with it and they were OK. But it was just one of those situations that it's like, no, know exactly where I was. I know exactly who I was with. And that's why you don't want to put yourself in bad situations so you don't have uncomfortable conversations. Speaker 2 (24:38) That's pretty profound. Yes. When, yeah, I don't know who felt worse to you or the guy that mistake you for the person that he made out with. Speaker 3 (24:39) That's funny. Speaker 1 (24:47) Yeah, well when I was in Vegas, what, two weeks ago, and we were talking about, you know, it is okay to have, we didn't say the two drink maximum, but we said cocktails, mocktails, all of that's okay. Have the soda with the lime. I have, yeah, I'm being younger in my career. I can remember whenever I'd go and, you know, just crazy and having drinks and I hope that I never truly embarrassed myself too much, but I do know there were situations probably where I did have too much to drink and I really try not to have those situations happen, especially because you can see how much that can impact your business and not just your business, you want to make sure you're not impacting your family or your reputation in a negative way. Like we have our cocktails. So it's funny that we're talking about this, but it's like we have them, we joke around about them, if we have a tangent or a sip or whatever, but it's, you know. You don't want to put yourself in that precarious, uncomfortable situation, not remembering like that gentleman. Crazy, never told me that story. Speaker 3 (25:49) You kissed. Speaker 2 (25:50) What is wrong? Speaker 3 (25:53) Talking about conferences and being, anyway, another day. Speaker 2 (25:57) That's funny, that's funny. But I think it just goes to show that we've all put ourselves in situations where we could have made it uncomfortable or comfortable. I think how you grasp the situation. And sometimes it's not always in professional situations, it's in personal. mean, let's face it. Yes, we go out with some girlfriends on a bachelorette party or whatever and then next day you wake up and you're not sure how you got home and you think, my God, what did do? Speaker 1 (26:14) this topic came up. Speaker 2 (26:24) You know, you just have to go into a situation understanding that you have to have control and grasp what's right for you and what may be right for you may not be right for somebody else. So, you know, there's a lot of people out there that do their podcasts. They're probably not going to do it from a hot tub. But again, I think there's I think what we're bringing to everyone is the fact that you can you can own up to what you feel like your shortcomings are. and what you feel like is a shortcoming for you, someone may say, no, that's why I absolutely admire you and respect you and wish I could be more like you. So I think you just, you you just grab it and go and make the best out of it. And cause like you said, we are our own worst critic. And at the end of the day, sometimes you wake up and you think, wow, okay, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. So. Speaker 1 (27:15) I'll say this and this may be totally cheesy and Natalie you're like, but do you always try to find the right side? Here's the thing you freaking woke up Like I've had so many people die in my life. You woke up. Yeah, you made a damn mistake Yeah, who gives a fuck? Yeah. Sorry. We'll probably have to bleep that out. You woke up you're here to you know make good on whatever promise you made. You're here to make good on whatever bad you did. You made mistakes. You took an uncomfortable situation and you made it worse. But you woke up and we forget about that. Like I've lost too many people in my life way too early. And I'm tired of apologizing for certain things. It's like, you know what? You can move on. And this whole cancel culture. that's out there too, some of that's got to stop. Speaker 2 (28:13) I agree. agree. Speaker 3 (28:15) cancel at all. I think it should stick around. Speaker 2 (28:19) was kidding. Speaker 3 (28:21) No, I'm all for like who gives a fuck unless you really did screw the pooch on that one and you need to own up to it and accept responsibility. Don't be a narcissistic gaslighting person. I'm trying not to cough. Speaker 1 (28:34) she said is don't be a narcissistic gaslighting person. Speaker 2 (28:37) Thanks. yeah. We all make mistakes. No one's perfect. You you screw up. Speaker 3 (28:42) I think Mindy's pretty close. I mean those glasses. Speaker 1 (28:48) I literally thought you were saying like the opposite Speaker 2 (28:56) These bitches. Speaker 1 (28:58) I'm aware from it, but my goodness. Speaker 2 (28:59) you I think my take on things is that we all have different scenarios that we have to dive into, whether it's on purpose or accidentally that we wake up one day and we're like, my God, how did get myself in this situation? And you can either shine on your way out or you can belly flop. But like you said, you fricking wake up the next day and you make it right and you own it. And you realize that chances are tomorrow, someone's gonna fuck up worse than you did yesterday. And this spotlight's not gonna be on you anymore, so. Speaker 1 (29:35) And with that, if you have a recipe of the day that you would like us to feature or if you have a topic that you would love for us to talk about, we would love to hear from you. Go to our website, sugarspiceandspirits.com, drop us a line, subscribe to our newsletter that's coming up. when you subscribe, you're going to have to hit the email button because it's going to email you so you can be verified. we would love to free to be part of the show we would love to hear from you we thank you so very much i cannot believe i said the f word but Speaker 2 (30:09) And you never know, you might get to join us on the next hot tub party. Speaker 3 (30:12) What? That's next level. That's next level. guys. Speaker 2 (30:16) Peace guys, thanks for joining us.